Willow Monkey: Private Investigator
By Mike DalyMarch 3rd, 2006
So I would tell you a very funny and well-written story about the
fantastic adventures that I had last night, but there is a problem.
The problem is, of course, that I have no idea what happened last
night. However, I have noticed a couple of indicators around the
house that suggest what might have happened. This calls for the
talents of a private investigator! I'm going to describe all of the
clues I found (unfortunately, I couldn't find Wayne's camera, so I
don't have pictures), and you can use your powers of intuition to
determine what really happened. Hell, your guess is as good as
mine. So c'mon gang! We've got a mystery to solve!
Aside: Wayne is not around very often these days to cook dinner with, so what do I eat nowadays? Not toothpaste, but it is a funny website anyways.
Clues:
- I woke up on the couch and not my bed. I had a headache.
- There were a great deal of empty beverage containers on the
coffee table. The arrangement is as follows:
- There are three India Pale Ale's (blea!) grouped at the edge of the coffee table closest to the television. There is only one person who would forsake this couch in favor of laying on his stomach in the middle of the floor. These beverage containers must belong to Mike E.
- There are four beverage containers grouped near another edge of the coffee table. All of them have precisely 1/10th of the bottle's original liquid contents remaining in the bottom. These must have been Pawel's.
- There are eight empty beverages lined up in front of the recliner with obsessive-compulsive-disorder-like precision. Ah ha! Those were obviously mine.
- I try talking to George and I realize that I've lost my voice. I obviously played some video games last night.
- There is my barbell in the middle of the office room. The weights are no longer symetrical, with one of them attached very close to the end of the bar, and one of the weights has a great deal of the black coating chipped and scraped away.
- My gardening gloves are on the kitchen counter. They are dirty, which is unexpected because I've never used them before (what? you think I garden?)
- On top of the gloves is one of the many lighters in my house. I'll bet that comes as a shocker.
- Outside the house around back I used to have a stack of stepping stones. The stepping stones are now a pile of rubble. Not one of them is still fully intact.
- Here is the most interesting part: on the coffe table is one of my old cookie sheets. Earlier this week, I had decided to throw it away (rather than having to wash it), so it was sitting next to the trash in the kitchen. The sheet of metal is now completely twisted up, sporting scratches, dents, and punctures all over it. A good portion of the cookie sheet has black soot on it and it smells like gasoline.
Aside: Wayne is not around very often these days to cook dinner with, so what do I eat nowadays? Not toothpaste, but it is a funny website anyways.
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Face plate
By Mike DalyMarch 27th, 2006
Hello all; long time, no see.
I'm finally nearing the end of my big push at work, and in another two or three weeks my four-or-so month long crunch will finally be over. I tell you what, it feels pretty good to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just in case anyone is interested, I have been working on a new aspect of Gamebryo that we are calling the 'Scene Designer'. Just to make the explanation simpler, I'm going to say that it is our game engine's level editor. Check out its web page. Not like you can really make it out from the downsized images, but I created the levels on the top and the bottom from scratch. We are shipping one of them, so I got to contribute art content to our game engine, woo!
Second thing that I'm excited about is that my company is moving into a spanking new office in the Quadrangle. That will reduce my commute by 8-10 minutes, and our new place is much bigger and nicer.
The third thing that I'm excited about is that my slacker brother Wesley finally wrote something for the webpage. You can find his most recent political rant in our much-neglected articles page. By the way, for those that don't know, my brother is also engaged to a chinese woman and will be moving to Shanghai soon.
Next up on the list is that George is a cute kitty. We were sitting in the living room drinking and playing video games one night when we noticed a shadow come across the room. Apparently curious george had decided to go exploring and walked on top of my kitchen divider wall, which was very cute despite the fact that he was covered in dust by the time we got him down. Fortunately, we got a picture.
I've managed to resist getting Oblivion still because I haven't fullfilled my current gaming obligations, but it is becoming more difficult as time passes. It will probably be still harder once I get my new HDTV delivered next sunday. Curse my weakness.
Finally, I never thought it would happen, but I finally got my developer faceplate from Microsoft. The guys who worked on software that went into the 360 launch and ordered a 360 from Microsoft got these. At the time we ordered, it was still thought that Oblivion was going to be a launch title, but in the end that didn't work out. Oh well, I still got my custom faceplate. Check it out. Unfortunately, you can't read the text because I was too lazy to resize the image in Photoshop so the internet downsampling and compression screwed it up. The green letters on the front say 'Thanks for playing with us', and the text on the USB bay door says 'Launch Team 2005'.
Well, that's about all I have to say. Sorry that all this information was so bland in its presentation, but I think it is better to have dull presentation of interesting information that a bunch of fluff about nothing. The latter of which is what I think I did for the first two years or so of the webpage. Maybe I'm wrong and fluff is better. Oh well, this is what you get. I already wrote it and I'm not going to change it now.
I'm finally nearing the end of my big push at work, and in another two or three weeks my four-or-so month long crunch will finally be over. I tell you what, it feels pretty good to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just in case anyone is interested, I have been working on a new aspect of Gamebryo that we are calling the 'Scene Designer'. Just to make the explanation simpler, I'm going to say that it is our game engine's level editor. Check out its web page. Not like you can really make it out from the downsized images, but I created the levels on the top and the bottom from scratch. We are shipping one of them, so I got to contribute art content to our game engine, woo!
Second thing that I'm excited about is that my company is moving into a spanking new office in the Quadrangle. That will reduce my commute by 8-10 minutes, and our new place is much bigger and nicer.
The third thing that I'm excited about is that my slacker brother Wesley finally wrote something for the webpage. You can find his most recent political rant in our much-neglected articles page. By the way, for those that don't know, my brother is also engaged to a chinese woman and will be moving to Shanghai soon.
Next up on the list is that George is a cute kitty. We were sitting in the living room drinking and playing video games one night when we noticed a shadow come across the room. Apparently curious george had decided to go exploring and walked on top of my kitchen divider wall, which was very cute despite the fact that he was covered in dust by the time we got him down. Fortunately, we got a picture.
I've managed to resist getting Oblivion still because I haven't fullfilled my current gaming obligations, but it is becoming more difficult as time passes. It will probably be still harder once I get my new HDTV delivered next sunday. Curse my weakness.
Finally, I never thought it would happen, but I finally got my developer faceplate from Microsoft. The guys who worked on software that went into the 360 launch and ordered a 360 from Microsoft got these. At the time we ordered, it was still thought that Oblivion was going to be a launch title, but in the end that didn't work out. Oh well, I still got my custom faceplate. Check it out. Unfortunately, you can't read the text because I was too lazy to resize the image in Photoshop so the internet downsampling and compression screwed it up. The green letters on the front say 'Thanks for playing with us', and the text on the USB bay door says 'Launch Team 2005'.
Well, that's about all I have to say. Sorry that all this information was so bland in its presentation, but I think it is better to have dull presentation of interesting information that a bunch of fluff about nothing. The latter of which is what I think I did for the first two years or so of the webpage. Maybe I'm wrong and fluff is better. Oh well, this is what you get. I already wrote it and I'm not going to change it now.
Comments