Miracle Methods

by Mike Daly
Feb 1, 2004

So, I was really going to do my update yesterday, but i was distracted by another one of the inevitable nights where I fail to do my homework ahead of time and was forced to spend the greater part of the day completing it.

This one was a real doozie. I had a big graphics program due at midnight (3 hours ago as of now), and I didn’t start on it until roughly the midnight before. After about a dozen hours of "binge programming", I realized that I hadn’t been able to compile my program since I had started. Quite natrually, my program had over 100 errors, forcing the compile to abort. Enter the "binge debugging" phase. Here I spent several hours continuously recompiling after changing one line at a time to find out where all these mysterious errors were coming from. Next was the "realizing that you have 2 homework assignments due in your first class" phase. I managed to write a one-page summary of the semester’s study so far in the 10 minutes between when I took a quick (and freezing cold) shower and ran out the door to catch the bus. Returned home, passed out, awoke, realized desparity of situation. So, it was then about 5 o’clock pm. I had a truckload of compile errors that I had not been able to fix after hours of effort, and even if the program compiled, the core of it was only about 1/3 complete. The cherry was that I’d only gotten tiny patches of sleep in the past 2 days. Despite the utter impossibility of my survival at this point, I pressed on, and that’s when something strange happened. Here’s my theory: do you remember that old fairy tale about the elves that snuck into the cobblers shop at night and made lots of shoes for him? I figure those elves (or their decendants) hacked my computer to install a hypnotic screensaver. While I was entranced, they took up the keyboard, wrote the program, then let me wake back up. In my bumbling, exhausted state, I tried to keep writing the program, screwing up their program in the process resulting in the most shoddy looking miniature golf course displaying program ever. Although my memory is pretty fuzzy of the last few hours of development, the conclusions of whatever actions I took during that time were clear: I had actually managed to get the program running by deadline. I don’t usually result to being really dorky, but I feel that the situation warrants the use of special language. w00t, my friends. w00t.